目前日期文章:200710 (3)

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  • Oct 21 Sun 2007 16:52
  • 母性

  我想說一段故事,一段關於狗狗的故事、一段關於母親的故事。許久不曾盯著冰冷的電視螢幕哭泣,然而直到時間流逝至今,那骨瘦如柴、硬逼著自己將剛吞下的食物給吐出的身影,卻依然縈繞在我的腦海裡,揮之不去。母親的偉大,明明是早已明瞭,然而每當親眼見到,感動卻依然是如此地具有衝擊;如同一雙溫暖但卻執著的手,捧著我的心,有時些許激動地使著力,希望我不要忘記。


  故事的開始,是一位善良的婦人以及一隻瘦弱的流浪狗;故事的中程,狗狗接納了婦人,也接納了婦人的丈夫,每天牠來到這對夫婦家的側院,接受著他們的餵養,然而牠那彷彿以生命在吞食著所有食物的狠勁、以及與異常龐大的食量形成強烈對比的那依然骨瘦如柴的身軀,使得夫婦倆起了疑心,企圖尾隨著狗狗去了解,卻遭到狗狗威嚇的眼神與叫聲逼退。


  故事的轉折,大約三週後的某一日,狗狗終於對夫婦倆投注了完全的信任,在吞完所有食物後,狗狗第一次沒有選擇轉身離去,而是用眼神與動作示意著婦人與牠一同前往一座破屋。破屋裡,三隻圓滾滾且腳步蹣跚的狗寶寶,頓時映入了婦人的眼簾,一瞬間,婦人了解到了,了解到了原來狗狗是個偉大的母親。就在婦人的眼前,狗狗用力地抽蓄著身體,喉嚨發出細細的呻吟,接著,將剛剛吞下的所有食物全數都吐了出來,三隻狗寶寶見狀,立刻開始搶奪著眼前這些還略見形狀的食物,轉眼,將之一掃而空。


  故事的尾聲,三隻可愛的狗寶寶,陸續地接受了夫婦倆的收養。而在最後的最後,狗狗也終於留在夫婦家,成為了夫婦倆的孩子,牠漸漸長胖,生出了蓬鬆的毛髮,在推測年齡約八歲的某日,安祥地離開了人世。


  忘不了每段故事、忘不了每個畫面、忘不了某年的冬天,家裡的兔媽媽為了幫剛生下的寶寶們保暖,扯下了自己身上的毛、忘不了我的母親,洗著衣服的背影、粗糙的手、每次送我離家時的句句叮嚀 ...  將世上的「自私自利」都回沖,沖淡、沖淡、沖淡,用力 ────── 


     蜷縮著微小的身軀,在母親的子宮裡,我,感受著體溫的包覆、規律的心跳、無私的愛,而後,自在地,我與母親一起在這片大地上呼吸 ... ... 




  呼吸 ...

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Thank you .
I heard your voice , and received your care .

I'm so glad ... to have a good friend like you .
You know all of the fragile parts in my mind ... 
and never tired of concerning with me ...

I'm so happy ... emotinos ran out ... can not help crying but also smiling .

I love you . Love you so much .

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No matter how easy things we want to do or how simple words we want to say , 
there are always a group of people who will scan our behavior , 
with serious standard.

Thus , we must think . think . think and think ... before our every little action 
because our external expressions are all represent impressions of ourself.

If we don't strict to our own doings , 
then there are no persons who could help us .
They will only criticize , because they are born to be this kind of people ... 
a  group of sorrowfully criticasters ... elevating themselves by way of judging others ...
making it as their meaning of life ...

We could not escape from those bitchiness , so we could only request ourself
to try to perform faultlessly just like a saint.

But even a saint will also make mistakes , 
how could we always disguise ourself perfectly ?

I know the truth that everyone will observe each others ... 
maybe with high standard or not.
However , if I always guise of a ideal girl that you like , 
I will must forget the "oringinal" me someday ... 
and will lose all things about myself ...


It's so difficult ... 
how could I  satisfy all of you and my thoughts still belong to myself ?
I am in a dilemma ... mystery ... and finding no answers ... 

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